How to Handle an Intruder - From the mouth of a 5 year old.

Last year Grant purchased one of his very favorite lawn tools, which assists him with bagging leaves, mowed grass, etc. It's basically a large plastic trash can that is open at both ends and has a funnel at the top. He'll put a bag over the funnel and it holds it there for him to fill. It makes yard work so much faster and easier for him. So he loves it. He paid $30 for it and they're not always easy to find.
Yesterday, we discovered it is missing. He normally keeps it on the side of the house near the back gate, not at all visible from the street and front of the house. We have to believe it's stolen......there's just no other explanation. A little unnerving, if you ask me. Not to mention upsetting.

Anyways, the point of mentioning all that was to give context of the following conversation, which occurred just after the discovery of the missing funnel.
I was working on the computer and he was sitting at the table behind me.

Corban: "Hey Mom, I have a plan. If somebody comes into our yard, first Marissa will scare him, and when he's running away from her, I'll punch him in the face really hard."
Me: "Ummmm.....well.......Marissa isn't very scary. She's only a 3-year old girl, you know. Maybe Monty should scare him."
Corban: "Okay, Monty will scare him, and then I'll punch him in the face really hard."
Me: "What if he's so tall you can't reach his face?"
Corban: "Well, then I'll punch him really hard in the p*nis."

At that I wheeled around and snorted to keep from laughing my head off....he was noticably tickled at my reaction and started laughing himself.

Me: "What made you think of that, Corban?"
Corban: (still grinning ear to ear) "Well, I figured if I couldn't reach his face, his p*nis would be the best to hit because it would REALLY HURT."

Boys know these things. You don't have to tell them. He would have kept on talking about it, but Marissa was sitting there all ears.....so I made him stop.